Sweet Survival

2006-11-05T01:29:00.000-08:00

time for a more concerted effort again. the less i eat it, the easier it is to control. the more i eat it, the more i need it. i don't think i can go cold turkey, but i can really work on cutting down. and it does work. so that's what i will do.

2006-09-13T01:06:00.000-07:00

Have a rotten cold which has really been helping in the I have no appetite and can't be bothered going to the supermarket (and getting tempted) stakes. Getting better now though. It seems easier to talk myself out of sugar than before. The discussion (with myself) is still more of a 3 minute exchange than a simple NO, however. I did have some icecream the other night, but it wasn't even particularly nice. Good.

survived!

2006-09-10T05:03:00.000-07:00

i survived day 4 - whoohoooo. i reckon day 4 is the tough one because all of a sudden you realise it's make or break. that you're sticking to this and it doesn't get more interesting...or you're folding. No Sugar Mama said that she's "loving it" (quitting sugar) - and I think either she's joking or it's that sense or relief that hr body will no longer be swinging on the sugar highs and lows. not that the highs aren't fun, of course.

at last

2006-09-07T03:53:00.000-07:00

yayayaya!

i'm getting it. i'm finally getting it. i've quit the stuff! whooohooo

2006-08-26T02:44:00.000-07:00

the other night i really wanted something yummy to round off dinner. we didn't have anything of course, but i couldn't shake the thought from my brain. unfortunately (or fortunately) i'd had 2 glasses of wine so i couldn't drive myself. rob was working on the computer so i didn't want to disturb him to ask him to go. well i did actually but i didn't. so i didn't get anything. i thought i wouldn't be able to sleep but guess what i did and i'd forgotten about it the next morning. it surprised me too. i thought i'd keep obsessing until i got something. but i didn't.

today my son surprised me. i took the boys (2yo and 4yo) to a party where they stuffed their faces on lollies and chips and cupcakes and all the usual crap. followed of course by the treasure hunt (treasure was lollies) and then the party bags - more sugar. when we got back here my sister in law came round to collect them for a couple of hours and said "we have donuts at home". my 4 year old told her "I don't need a donut cos I've had enough sugar today". Breakthrough. Of course, he probably ate one, and he was asking for the chocolate out of his party bag later, but still, it's a start. It probably wasn't hard to say that either, after everything he had already eaten. Still, gotta start somewhere.

2006-08-11T05:32:00.000-07:00

Hi guys (Kitchy, No Sugar Mama, and any other random readers)
I still read your blogs and it's good to see how well you're doing.

Sorry I've been so slack updating recently, I guess the novelty has worn off a bit, and I don't find avoiding sugar such a challenge anymore (although it still is sometimes, just to keep me on my toes).

When I do eat sugar I think about my blood sugar levels rising and my insulin response and how much harder my body is having to work to deal with it all, and it really puts me off eating much at all. Which is great.

2006-08-07T21:52:00.000-07:00

nothing exciting to report here.
which i suppose, is good.
i don't feel as "controlled" by sugar as i used to. and it doesn't taste like it used to. and i don't binge and feel crappy like before.
but like i said, can't get complacent.

i just wish the rest of the world would wake up to what sugar does to people.

i shouldn't become complacent

2006-08-02T15:10:00.000-07:00

nope, it isn't easy. i don't think complacency will ever work for me. i read (or saw) somewhere that successful dieters actually save money because they get good at self-discipline. although we aren't talking dieting here (god forbid!) we are talking about self control. in melbourne we had lots of nice cafe meals etc etc and it's hard to get back to my less exotic style of food here. i keep wanting little treats! bum.

i'm baaa-ackk

2006-08-01T03:26:00.000-07:00

hey everyone, how's it going? melbourne was fun. so nice to have the child-free work free domesticity free break. i did lots of walking, reading, some shopping (ikea! we don't have it in tas), and of course eating. the good thing was i felt balance - a few meals out, a few pasta and sauce things at home. i feel like i can take it or leave it now with sugar, my mind doesn't order me to eat it. it's not "you have to have..." like it used to be.

2006-07-25T03:07:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone...all going Ok here. Except I just got out the cheap dried apricots and they aren't half as nice as the more expensive, turkish style. Ah well. I'm going away for the weekend so you probably won't hear from me til mid-next week. Don't forget to drop by to http://nomoresugarbaby.livejournal.com/ and encourage her along. I think she's doing really well.

My brother in law (partner's brother) split up with his girlfriend today. He doesn't drink, so the closest thing he could think of to do was eat lots and lots of chocolate!

2006-07-23T04:41:00.000-07:00

i like this
this lady writes brilliant columns in the good weekend magazine.

Already Tested

2006-07-23T02:58:00.000-07:00

Today my in-laws came back from their European trip and the first thing they gave out was Swiss chocolate. Fortunately I had just cleaned my teeth. I would have said no anyway, I'm sure if I really really wanted it that much down the track I could get it from somewhere. They also brought me back lots of little bags of potato chips (they're called Hula Hoops and you can't get them here). I'd asked for them before I started this whole thing. Technically according to my definition they're savoury not sweet. I wouldn't drive to the supermarket in a frenzy to buy them (like I might with something like chocolate biscuits) but I don't think it's ideal they are here. I've had one packet but I think I'll give the rest to Rob. I feel guilty though, knowing that the in-laws hauled them all around Europe for me. Oh well, what you don't know....
I was going to start the whole Day 1, 2, 3... thingo again but I want this to be ongoing ongoing ongoing lifestyle choice etc. So there we are.

Take a good hard look at yourself...

2006-07-22T14:21:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking really hard about the sugar thing and have come to a few conclusions.
Under my own rules I am eating way too much, and I'm struggling the rest of the time because of my own flexibility. I don't think there's been a day in the last 10 when I haven't had something I really shouldn't be having, whether it be through the generosity of others or through my own terrible devices. It hasn't been helping me at all.

This is not what I set out to do. I have been completely not strict enough. My attempt at giving up sugar is nothing like anyone else's and you have all been kind enough not to say so.
The original thing about not buying sugar but being allowed it if it's there has been stretched to an extreme. Ridiculous. When I first quit sugar the thing that undid me was attending about 3 different functions in one day and feeling so deprived at the third one after resisting it all day and choosing alternatives that I ate some cake...and then of course lost the plot. The rule was designed to prevent this from happening, not use it as an excuse to access sugar most days of the week. So I need to get tougher.

I'm not ready to say "that's it - no more for a year" or even "that's it - no more for 3 months". Firstly, cos I don't want to. I love sugar (just not what it does to me). I can't handle the thought of not having it again. When I try to quit completely, I am seized by an irrational fear. "What if they stop making rocky road/marshmallows/cookies and cream icecream/jelly beans/whatever and I never get to eat it again?" It's silly. But I know that eating sugar is harmful and I must do all I can to get it out of my diet.

I won't give up chocolate completely and I'm happy to keep going with the 2 squares of bitter dark chocolate a day (not 4+ as I have stretched it to!). Once a fortnight now is the deal with other instances of sugar. I can try and save up these instances into a bank so I can splurge a bit on holidays etc. And when I say other instances of sugar I mean only one. As in one piece of cake or 100gm of chocolate or a few handfuls of chips, not the whole lot of them.

So it's a new beginning for me, 3rd time lucky. I haven't given up and I won't but I did need to redefine the process. Because I wasn't helping myself (or anyone else really).

Thanks to everyone else for still being there, I feel like I've let myself and you all down but I am in this for the long haul and I have to keep reminding myself it's a learning experience. However I can no longer use these excuses "learning experience", "loop of feedback" etc anymore. The only thing that will get me where I want to be is preparation and planning.

We're going to Melbourne for a short break next week (child-free, whooohooo!) and I have been panicking about what I will eat. Mostly because we will be eating at cafes and restaurants a lot and temptation will abound. Also, I wanted to really enjoy the holiday and I felt that dietary restrictions would impair that. But now I realise that I can use the opportunity to support myself because they have all sorts of healthy-food establishments etc that we don't have here. Maybe, there's even a raw food place.

That's all from me. Thanks for your patience and support.

Re-load

2006-07-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

So things have been going a bit wrong here. There's been too many offerings over the fence from cakewoman - in the last week there's been apple crumble, chocolate mud cupcake, icecream...
Aside from this here's been too many ad hoc opportunities to apply my rule "...if i didn't buy it or coerce someone else into it, it's ok". The good news is there hasn't been any binging, but I've come pretty close to it. I've broken my own rule a couple of times too, twice last week (I bought 2 chocolate frogs after the dentist and some choc-chip rock cakes today (and they weren't even nice) and things are generally going the wrong way, probably from having too much sugar access according to my rule. The idea was to improve my diet and right now I don't see it as being much different.

SO - I hate making rules for myself, but there's one more
1. Can't buy it or coerce someone else into it
2. Can't have more than 2 other incidences of eating it in a week.

That should work better. Can still have my 2-3 squares of 85% dark chocolate a day.

It's all about the loop of feedback, learning, refining, practising, improving. I wish that I could apply the totally-none-of-it approach but I'm pretty sure that would have a bad ending. Anyway, I'm not giving up and I am going to start planning better again.

2006-07-19T02:34:00.000-07:00

hi guys. today a girl at work offered me a huge big sugar pastry thing at the end of the day. i told her no thanks, that i was watching my sugar intake but of course she presssured me ("someone at home might like it") so i accepted gracefully then dumped it in rubbish bin on the way home. i'm sure someone at home might have liked it (two small children, for example) but i wasn't inflicting it on them either.

anyway, if she'd offered it to me in the morning it might have been a different story (she bought it in the morning as part of some morning tea thingo). it's much easier to talk myself out of food like that if i know it's been sitting round all day. ah well, it's not an issue. seems like all the other quitters out there are winning the war at the moment too, so well done! it is tough.

some insights

2006-07-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

...for kitchy, because she wanted to know.

I originally started out about a month ago avoiding all sugar within reason (ie if it was in tomato sauce or chutney or a curry that someone had made then it didn't matter) but I did change the rules slightly.

I didn't like the idea of even a 3 month goal and i just couldn't handle missing out on birthday cakes and things like that when other people were indulging.

So I changed my goal to not buying sugar products for myself. If they're there eg at a bbq or someone's birthday or a morning tea or someone offers me something (like my sister, who convenientally lives next door at the moment offering to pass some apple crumble over the fence last night) then that's ok. if we go out for tea and people are ordering dessert i can too. what's not ok is buying icecream or chocolate biscuits or lollies or whatver and taking them home and eating them. i don't tend to pig out in public (but it's easy to do at home in front of the tv) and i am generally pretty careful with what i eat anyway. i don't like soda (we call it soft drink) and i'm almost vegetarian. i try to avoid high fat products like chips etc, though again, i will eat them if they're there at a bbq or party or something.

i have to be careful not to coerce people into getting stuff for me, and not to eat too much when i get the opportunity. it's amazing how many opportunities there are in fact (almost daily) so i do need to re-think my strategy slightly.

i'm 37 years old, my height is nearly 5 foot 6 inches (about 166cm) and my weight is about 56kg with nothing on! (there's definitely not a picture of that but if you click on June Archives on the lefthand side of the blog you can see a couple of pictures of me). i think that's about 123.5lbs. like no sugar mama, i try not to weigh myself too often because there's just no point, unless it's to reassure myself that i haven't just gained 6lbs and consequently need to binge in despair. Diets don't work, long term lifestyle changes do.

I know my BMI is fine and I wouldn't be considered at all overweight by most people. I'm an apple shape, so probably the only flabby part of me is my tummy. I exercise every day even if it's only a 45 minute walk. i love basketball and play in two teams. i'm not hopeless but definitely not a standout. my ideal job would be professional basketball player though! At the moment i wear a pedometer for a 5 month challenge i'm in. i swim once or twice a week too. i'm lucky to have a reasonably fast metabolism and low blood pressure, but like no sugar mama i need to eat very regularly or else i start feeling rotten.

i know having a fast metabolism makes me very lucky and i try not to judge other people by their size. sometimes when i see big people eating bad food i just feel sad because it's often about self-esteem. it's also about the way they were brought up and how their relationships with food were formed. i was lucky to have parents that demonstrated good eating habits.

I "gave up" sugar because it had a hold on me - i'd binge eat too much and feel crappy, grumpy and lethargic for the rest of the day. i was thinking too much about where my next "fix" was coming from. it was really bad for my health and i also want to set the right example for my kids. it's hard to get them to eat vegies but maybe one day they'll come around, like i did.

a typical day's eating for me starts at about 7am with OJ and an iron tablet also maybe a fish oil capsule. i think omega 3s are really good for you, i just don't like eating fish. dunno why - it just doesn't appeal. maybe cos i'm a pisces?? i eat blueberries with plain yoghurt and unsweetened toasted muesli for breakfast. at around 10 i'll eat about 6+ crackers with vegemite (i am australian, after all) or a sugar free muffin. lunch is normally sushi or a sandwich, i love the vegie delites from subway (footlong, of course, with cheese and chipotle dressing (but not much)) and sometimes i'm hungry again by 3 or 4pm (not if i had a footlong) so i'll have maybe some nuts of dried fruit. i work 3 days a week so if i'm at home lunch is far more boring - think toasted cheese sandwich type things. i cannot hack not finishing lunch without chocolate unfortunately, so i eat lindt 80% cocoa solids (too bitter to pig out on). for tea (dinner) i eat pasta a lot, often in a tomato based sauce with vegies. i like vegetarian curries (like chickpea) but will aslo occasionally eat chicken or lean beef mince (tacos or bolognaise). then more 80% chocolate. i like fruit, but mostly don't bother apart from the summer varietys like stone fruit, berries and grapes. in winter i will occasionally blend up kiwis, oranges, frozen berries etc and drink the result.

i don't drink much alcohol, not because i don't like it, i do, but because it makes me tired the next day. and that's always a long day with two little boys.

my partner will eat almost anything but doesn't bother much with buying or preparing food so what i choose tends to dictate what we eat most.

now the bad bit - nearly every day it seems that there's some sugar eating opportunity not created by myself. someone's birthday, a morning tea at work, a meal out or whatever. today i went to visit a friend and she'd just baked a coconut slice. according to my rules this is ok. yesterday we were at the basketball (aus vs new zealand - mens) and i had a magnum (icecream). the day before i had the apple crumble. the day before that i was at a party and had birthday cake...and so on. i worry that to the serious sugar quitters i look like a fake. but what i'm doing is a step forward to me. i think it might need some refining but i'm going in the right direction. i never used to be this relaxed about diet, but that's another story. i'll put up the long history soon.

hi

2006-07-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

hi everyone, still here.
not much to post. still battling, but mostly successful. haven't binged since i started this, and i must have been going about a month now. there have been mistakes, but overall i'm feeling pretty good. my weight has stabilised closer to it's lower setpoint, and if i never get rid of this last 10lbs, it won't be the end of the world. my tummy has only ever been flat once since i was about 12, so i should have come to terms with it!

2006-07-15T14:56:00.000-07:00

my mum's cousin has avoided sugar since he was young. he ate too many easter eggs one year and threw up, and since then hasn't eaten it. he developed an intense dislike for it, and if you ask him today he'll talk about the many negative effects it has on health and behaviour. so when his daughter was born, he wouldn't let her eat it. not at all. none. i don't give my sons much sugar, but they do have the occasional biscuit or small piece of chocolate. nothing in the realm of what i've seen other parents authorise, however. anyway, by the time his second daughter came along, the rules had relaxed somewhat (as they always do) and she got to eat a lot more than her older sister ever did.

the interesting thing is the older sister, now in her teens, doesn't like sugar and will avoid it too. she's just not into it. the younger sister loves it though.

i wonder all the time whether my mother's cousin was doing the first child a favour, by witholding sugar. she'll never have to struggle against temptation like we do. or was he denying her one of the essential pleasures of life? this is why i can't quit it all together. because i don't want to! but i can work really hard to moderate. in some ways, this might be more difficult than just quitting altogether, as i have to actively decide what's appropriate and what isn't. but i'm not ready to stop completely.

the good, the bad, and the ugly

2006-07-12T14:39:00.000-07:00

the bad - i had a scone, split in half with jam and cream yesterday. the bad - i also had 2 chocolate chip cookies.

the ugly - i had a large half of a chocolate brownie. i suppose the good was i didn't eat the whole thing.

the good - i went for a walk while my colleagues ate pizza for tea.

we were at a meeting about 2 hours drive away. i took the "if it's there and it's a social event and i didn't buy it then it's ok" thing a bit to the extreme, particularly when i asked for a chocolate brownie. everyone else was having a post-meeting drink. i didn't, cos even though i like the taste i get drunk fast and feel crap, and i'm a bit of a contol freak. also cos i don't think it's a great idea to even have one drink before a two hour drive. and, cos i thought i'd rather eat a brownie. still, i think that might have been breaking my own rules really. even though i didn't pay for it, it wasn't really there already purchased with lots of others waiting to be eaten. it was behind a counter.

but i did remember how last time we got pizza on the way back and i wasn't really hungry and i ate heaps (and the financial thing - $7 or $8+ that i didn't need to spend). so i walked around the block in this small country town while everyone else sat down and ate pizza.

so i guess it wasn't the greatest day or the worst. i have learnt some stuff but have more to learn.

2006-07-10T14:13:00.000-07:00

nothing exciting to report here. i'm walking, not eating sugar. recovering from my cold. i went orienteering on the weekend. haven't been back swimming yet but will soon. basketball twice a week. there's a girl on my team that plays 5 times a week (all in the evening as she works full-time). i'd love to do that but my knees would be stuffed (as hers appear to be, actually). i think playing basketball and skiing are possibly the only things that are more fun to do than eating chocolate icecream! and i haven't been skiing for ages due to cash-flow restrictions.

2006-07-08T04:46:00.000-07:00

hello. today was one of those fortunate days where i went to a social event (bbq party) and thus according to my rules i was allowed to eat products with sugar. didn't have much though, just 2 tim tams (chocolate sandwich biscuits) and a wafer biscuit. and some chips, if they count (in my mind they're savoury. i'm careful with them though, as they're still crap food).

so far i'm doing well sticking to my own rule. i still challenge myself every day though, trying to incite myself into breaking it.

i can see that i'm not nearly as addicted as other people quitting sugar - like i said for me it's habitual more than anything. it must be so hard to give up a physical addiction like that, or cigarettes, or alcohol. sooo hard. i do struggle enough as it is. i would loooove to sit down with a tub of ben & jerrys or haagen dazs and i know i can't because like so many other people with sugar problems, one thing just leads to another...eg doing the same thing the next day.

2006-07-07T02:52:00.000-07:00

today was ok. i didn't buy any sugar. was tempted to get a big, fruity, icy, sorbet-y drink because i was a bit dehydrated (don't drink much when i'm sick) but i didn't. i just drank water. it's freezing here at the moment, anyway. i reckon as long as i keep blogging i'll be ok with this goal of avoiding sugar. got to keep it as a forefront in my mind. it's good to see lots of anti-sugar blogs springing up recently.

2006-07-06T14:31:00.000-07:00

hi. still struglling. yesterday my mind offered me bakery products, chocolate, biscuits, chocolate biscuits, icecream etc both times i was in the supermarket. but i bought some dried fruit and came home. it was close though (or it felt like it) because i was saying to myself "you're still sick, just forget about the no sugar thing for now, buy what makes you happy".

2006-07-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

still here. my throat kills. it feels like someone is gripping it. i want to cough, but it hurts. it's also very hard to sound effective with misbehaving children. i bet some icecream would be just the thing but i'm happy to make do with no sugar yoghurt. i don't know if this has got easier, or it's just my general lack of appetite because i don't feel particularly challenged at the moment. which is good.

Hmmm

2006-07-04T00:49:00.000-07:00

Looking back over the my recent posts it doesn't look like I am very dedicated to the cause, but I am. I've failed before on the all or nothing approach, it always ends in a what-the-hell pigout. I've also failed before in the moderating approach, at first I do really well but sugar ends up creeping in and eventually taking over. But I know, I know that the persistence approach will win through. That the never-give-up-trying will lead to success. The worst thing as far as I can see is to concede defeat.

Haven't gone anywhere!

2006-07-04T00:12:00.000-07:00

Hello and apologies for my absence. I'm still here and still going. I've had a rotten cold since last Friday, and my 4 year old's birthday party was on Sunday. I've spent the last 2 days in bed really, had yesterday off work (I work 3 days a week) and today Rob stayed home to look after the kids. It's been an exhausting time.

As far as my battle with sugar goes, it's sort of been on hold. I did eat crap, yes, and there was lots of it here because of the party, but fortunately my appetite has been affected by the cold so it wasn't too bad. Fortunately too, there weren't lots of leftovers and they didn't hang around very long (got Rob to thank for that).

So tomorrow I'm back on the plan. The plan being not to buy it for myself and not to coerce others into it, but not to deny myself if I'm at some sort of social function with friends. Like I said, my biggest issue was at home pig-outs, and I'm still determined not to indulge. We don't have junk here at home and that's not going to change.

How's everyone else going?

2006-06-28T02:56:00.000-07:00

I think Day 10 is where I fell off the wagon last time. Not that I intend to do that this time. I'm getting a cold, I can feel my health declining as I type (cool, maybe I won't want to eat yummy stuff all the time). I can't wait for the day when I don't want to eat sugar products, when I don't think about them, mentally offer them to myself in my head. I bought some icecream today, I haven't eaten it yet but I will! Self-medicating my cold, of course. I am really am going to try to stick to the "not buying it for myself principle" I think it could work.

As I was saying to Caroline http://greensnotsugar.blogspot.com/ I wish the government could just ban sugar for all but say 4 or 5 days of the year. I'm sure it would save thousands in healthcare. Populations as a whole obviously can't control what they eat, the worldwide statistics are showing that. Of course, they'd have to ban high fat products too (and probably artificial sweeteners) and put some sort of control on fruit juice maybe. And there would be a black market. But it would be better. Until maybe people turned to other drugs and alcohol...hmmm OK not an easily solution but if we banned alcohol too (depressing, but I can't drink much anyway cos I can't handle the hangover after even 2 glasses of wine).

I've been participating in this corporate pedometer event http://www.globalcc.com.au/ We've just finished the first month and I'm averaging over 16000 steps a day which is good. It is helping me to motivate me with the whole sugar thing. I always did exercise, but I am doing more at the moment. Though right now everything is going to be put on hold so I can recover in time for Toddler Birthday Parteeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2006-06-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to point out I don't look so crazed normally...

2006-06-27T02:49:00.000-07:00

In the words on Caroline "Man, this sucks!" I would love to eat an 8 pack of chocolate donuts. Not gonna though. Wanna. It's the end of Day 9. It's supposed to get easier not harder. Maybe this is where the realisation sets in that it isn't a short-term kind of thing. There have been cravings today. Lots. But - there's nowhere to go but down if I give in to them. My current deal with myself is that I don't buy myself sugar products (or coerce others to do it). I can eat them, if someone else has got them or if I am out at a function or party. It's the sitting at home pigging by myself on stuff I've bought that does the damage.

This weekend is my son's 4th birthday party. There will be plenty of "junkfood" around. But it's so much easier to resist when you've seen a bunch of three and four year olds run their greasy paws through it. Same with the birthday cake. Once the birthday boy/girl has spluttered all over the icing and the same greasy paws have pulled the decorative lollies off, all of a sudden it's just not that appealing anymore. Can't think why.

2006-06-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

My sister has been practising her face painting skills in preparation for my 3 year olds 4th birthday party on Sunday. Here I am, as Spiderman! This is the special mask Spiderman version, perfect for thumbsuckers, nosepickers and droolers. Please note that none of these behaviours apply to me.

2006-06-26T14:58:00.000-07:00

Last week I deliberately didn't go to a work function (an afternoon tea) cos I knew they'd only have cakes and associated sugar-filled delicacies. I wouldn't have eaten any (I hope) but it would have been boring and required mental strength so I just avoided the situation.

My goldfish has died. And is currently sucked up next to the filter. BUM. I liked that goldfish. The worst was watching it swim sickly (sort of bent and upside down) around the tank on Sunday. I wanted to show it I cared, but how? And now I have to get it out of the tank. There's two little stripey silver ones left. They seem a bit more resilient than the regular goldfish variety.

Anyway, where was I? Oh - sugar! So as I said I'm letting myself eat two squares of 80% cocoa dark chocolate a day, which I really savour. At first I thought it was a coincidence, but when I put a piece in my mouth, then let it melt a bit, I need to sneeze. It's heartbreaking. I end up with bits of dark chocolate all over my fingers which I then have to rinse off. It's so tempting to eat it off, yes, but just too gross.

I just googled "dark chocolate makes me sneeze" and it turns out I'm not the only one. Haven't found out why though. Lot's of people seem to be blogging it. I'm hoping this is a universal phenomonen (just only us cluey people have worked it out) not an allergy!!

Tell 20 people!

2006-06-23T04:27:00.000-07:00

I've been looking forward all week to today when Rob and I both had the day off work. His Mum had given us a $70 voucher for a local Cafe called "The Beach" - yeah, good guess, it's right by the beach. I've eaten there a few times and though the food has always been a little underwhelming, I'm the sort of person that gets excited about going out for pizzza so I was happy about going. There aren't many restaurants in the local area, my favourite is a Vegetarian, organic type one called Citrus Moon.

Anyway we'd talked about it and decided that instead of having a big, piggy alcoholic meal with dessert, a $70 voucher would nearly get us lunch there twice. So Rob had some salmon and I had a chicken breast and it cost about $46 total. I was soooo tempted to get a dessert and came so close to doing so but didn't in the end. It was a struggle though. My mind says things to me like "You know Denny, it's OK to eat sugar if you just do it when you are out for meals." Or I sort of try to bargain with myself "I promise, if I can have this, I'll moderate. I won't get carried away, truly. Just this piece, then no more sugar til next time I am out..." Rob helped me talk myself out of it. I went home and had a square of the bitter dark chocolate, it was all I needed. I get 2 squares a day (one after lunch, one after tea) and surprisingly, I can moderate.

My chicken was OK but a bit sort of dry. It still had the skin on and I hate that. We were tossing around the idea of getting some wine but decided to save the money so we could have lunch again. Anyway, Rob took the voucher to pay and while we were walking out of the cafe I asked him if they gave another voucher or just cash as change. "Neither" he said, and told me that they said to him it's not their policy. "What?" I said. "What? They can't do that! It's $25! It's stealing. We have to say something." Rob didn't want to cause a fuss and neither did I - but I thought about how my mother in law had paid the money for us in good faith that we'd get to use it. I know only $25 but yes, it is a big deal.

So I went marching back in and said my partner didn't get any change, were they going to give us a voucher for the remaining amount. No, says the waitress, we don't do that. I stood there and looked at her and she added "But you can have a dessert or even take one away if you like". I said OK and she asked me which one I wanted. I said I wanted to see what they had first and we went over to the cake display and she explained very quickly what they had. I chose the caramel tart. "Once piece?" she asked. No bloody way! I didn't know how much change we were due or how much the cake was, and she didn't tell me (and I didn't ask) but I said "Two pieces please". So that's how I ended up buying 2 pieces of caramel tart I desperately would have liked to have eaten but didn't, and yes, they have been tempting me. But they've safely been digested by other people now. I'm still really shitty about the whole thing though, and I am going to write a polite letter complaining about their policy and of course, I'll tell everyone I know. And never go back.

After that we went to see "The Break Up" which I enjoyed, not brilliant or anything but just so real - I'm sure every girl can relate to it. All about how we put so much effort into our relationships and by the time it's actually recognised (if it even is) it's too little too late. I am lucky this isn't the case with Rob, he's amazing but I've seen it so many times.

Tomorrow is another challenge as my sister http://www.cakewoman.com/ has made Rob a chocolate mudcake for his birthday. I'll have to sit and watch everyone else enjoy it. BOO HOO. I am very tempted to have a small piece. But it wouldn't help me. So I can't. BUM.

still boring

2006-06-21T19:08:00.000-07:00

my mind keeps offering me stuff that i know i can't accept. "denny, how about you drop in to the bakery on your way home from basketball and pick up a fruit bun, you deserve it". the supermarket biscuit aisle calls out to me too: "hey, denny, over here! look, we're on special! you know how you like to lie on your bed, read something, and have us melt in your mouth one by one..."

i don't know about sugar substitutes. i don't eat the fake stuff like equal cos it isn't equal, it's not nearly as good. and all chemical-ly and bad for you, apparently. also because i think it would give me too much of a taste for the real thing. i know i could bake stuff and sweeten using honey or molasses or concentrated fruit juice, but same thing maybe...it would just encourage my taste for sweet things. i think sugar is evil, yeah, but i'm sure i could pig out and feel just as rotten on food sweetened by other means.

in other news just wanted to thank everyone for the support, particularly Stephanie from www.43things.com (Stop the Addiction to Sugar) http://cloudsandtraffic.blogspot.com/, No Sugar Mama http://nosugarmama.blogspot.com/, and Caroline http://greensnotsugar.blogspot.com/ Obviously, all the good looking, intelligent, 30 something women hang out on blogger.com trying to quit sugar!

Day 3

2006-06-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

Booooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrringgggggggggg.
This is so boring. Not hard (but not easy either) and very boring.
Boring BORING boring.

Arrrrgh - Day 2

2006-06-20T04:24:00.000-07:00

So much for the novelty wearing off Day 4. It already has! My family are avoiding me because I'm so irritable (although they ask for it, I'm sure) and I'm feeling deprived. I spent ages today looking forward to tomorrow (my husband and I finally have the day off work together and were going to go out to lunch and then to see a movie) and had the day planned out in my head (right down to what I would eat at the movie (sugar-free fruit muffin from Muffin Munchies)) when he postponed it due to work committments. I was really annoyed. Without sugar I'm struggling for fun little events to spice up the day so I felt irrationally upset by the cancellation. Even though we'll go Friday instead.

Day 1

2006-06-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

Well I reckon Day 1 is easy as my mental resolve is strong, I've eaten so much crap in the last few days that I don't even want sugar, and the novelty doesn't wear off until Day 4. Which is good, cos I went to the supermarket and it seemed like there were all these new and exciting varieties of chocolate bikkies (and I like to be an early adopter where low cost goods are concerned) . There was also heaps of chocolate on sale. Bum.

It's a bit scary having a public blog, I have another one that's pretty much just for friends and family. It has about 10 readers max. At one stage it was a lot higher than that but of course a few weirdo commenters came along and I sort of lost my nerve. I tormented myself that psychos were going to stalk me, track me down and kill my family. I know! Just how Britney Spears feels all the time I bet. Anyway, flaming is just dumb and should be ignored. Some people (without lives) just leave nasty comments to incite everyone else. It's sort of like lighting a fire and running, I guess.

I don't think it'll happen on this weblog though because for one thing it's so boooooooring unless you're interested in giving up sugar yourself. And I think it's really important for the anti-sugar revolution (well it will be one day) to get some momentum. And the more weblogs out there like this the more support there is for people like me trying to give up sugar.

I watched this documentary on tv the other night called "It's a fat, fat world". There's obviously an epidemic happening out there that both governments and individuals are for the most part, ignoring. Sort of "if we all don't look it can't be a big deal". We have a Cadbury (chocolate) factory here in Hobart that is just expanding it's operations and the local government is providing subsidies. Like I said though, I wouldn't be such a vigilante if I wasn't eschewing sugar and I used to the think the funnest thing was taking the tour and eating my way round the factory.

It's scary though, that one in ten people have diabetes and one in four are on their way. I don't know how much personal responsibility we can expect people to take for their health because it seems almost just too hard if we have these levels of obesity. I don't think dieting is the answer because if people are hungry they are more likely to pigout than they were before The only weight loss organisation I'd ever recommend would be weightwatchers). It's about lifestyle change. I think most people know what is good and bad for them - it's just having the self-esteem and support to continually choose the good stuff. There just seems to be such little support from governments. The amount of money they put into health programs is nothing compared to the marketing budgets of multi-national companies like Coca Cola.

At our local swimming pool at peak time (ie 5-6.30pm) after work there's just 2 lanes available for swimmers that aren't with training clubs (generally children anyway) and this is Hobart City Council's only swimming pool.

Anyway, enough of the soap box. You don't have to agree at all.

2006-06-18T03:14:00.000-07:00

Up until recently whenever I tried to give up "junk food" it was all about ditching the last 5-15kg (that's about 10-30lbs) on my body. Now though, that would just be a hopeful second benefit. I don't want to eat sugar because when I do I lose energy and motivation, I start to obsess about food and I completely resent the hold that sugar gets over me. And because a few weeks ago, when I did manage to quit for nearly 2 weeks I felt SO MUCH BETTER. And it wasn't all placebo.

I'm looking forward to starting my sugar free existence tomorrow, because I know now that it won't be as hard as it sounds. It sucks that this is my second attempt, but what else is there to do but learn from the first one. No point in saying "oh well, that's it then, can't do it, better give up". More like, hey, I can do it because I've done it before. As my new friend at http://nosugarmama.blogspot.com/ reminded me: "Better to quit for a time, fall off the wagon, and get back on than never to quit at all!"

I think it's really important to be prepared for a commitment like this. Firstly, I've pigged out on crap all weekend and am ready to go "clean". In fact I'm looking forward to it, especially to the relief of the removal of the stress associated with eating sugar. I'm prepared too, with lots of fresh and dried fruit to eat instead of my usual snacks. And I'm reminding myself of why I want to do this. I'm reminding myself to get lots of sleep and not be tempted to stay up late because if there's one thing makes me want to pig out on sugar - it's fatigue. It's like I try to find my missing energy through another alternative and of course it never works. Being hungry also weakens my resolve so I'm going to be careful to eat regularly and properly. And of course, there's going to be no temptations in the house. We don't usually have much anyway, but it would just be STUPID to have sugary treats hanging around in the cupboard tempting me.

I'm sure boredom and procrastination are both big triggers for sugar pigouts so I'll be guarding against that too. The boredom thing really relates to boredom with what I am eating (eg cheese on toast for lunch 4 out of 5 days a weeks) so I'm going to work to keep my food intake interesting and varied.

I tripped up last time when I had 3 things on in one day (meeting with friends in a bakery, kid's birthday party, and an afternoon tea thingo). By the time the afternoon tea rolled around my mental strength had waned and I had a small piece of mudcake. Since then sugar crept back into my diet and it's time for it to get back out of it now. But that's one more thing to guard against and be prepared for so it doesn't happen again. Social events...scary! Eating bad food is just such a norm for everyone these days. Most social events involve food. Not many of my friends say "Hey, we're all getting together for a bike ride on Saturday afternoon, want to come?" Most gatherings tend to involve copious amounts of food, even though most of the attendees are generally oveweight.

Ha, the last thing I have to guard against is becoming a judgemental vigilante who walks round the supermarket looking at other people and thinking little things to herself like "Do YOU really think you should be buying that?" It has to be wrong to judge people I don't even know with backgrounds and lives I know nothing about. I know that sugar is wreacking havoc on people's lives all over the world, but I can't tell people how they should live. They don't tell me. Well apart from some of the religious doorknockers that come along from time to time, of course. But they go away if you ask nicely. Usually. Anyway, they're only trying to save me which is quite kind really. But annoying.

(this is me)

2006-06-17T16:45:00.000-07:00

2006-06-17T14:55:00.000-07:00

2006-06-17T02:10:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a friend that you thought was completely charismatic, fun to spend time with, and charming? And you felt flattered that they picked you to be friends with.

And did it take a long time to realize that they had another side? That it was actually quite draining. And that other people avoided them for good reason. And you just wish you’d never got involved with them. But you were so far in that you didn’t know how to get out…

I’ve been on the net running searches. I’ve been googling phrases like “quit sugar”, “give up sugar”, and “beat the sugar addiction”. There’s a lot of information out there, and a lot of people doing what I’m doing.

Why am I doing this? Becauase Sugar has a hold on me that I can’t control. I don’t seem to be able to stop myself from buying it and eating it (and eating too much of it) on a regular basis. I know that it’s not good for me. It makes me lethargic and lazy. It costs me financially. I obsess over it. It’s making me FAT. The more I eat, the more I eat. So the solution is obvious.

But difficult.

The specifics:

To begin with, I'm going to see if I can last til July 27. I can’t face giving it away completely and small goals are good. A few weeks ago I set a goal of one year and made about 10 days. Not great, but no reason to say I quit! I'll call that a practise run. This is what I said then:

There’s sugar in everything. You can’t avoid it completely. And I’m not ready to deal with the idea of giving it up forever, though I know that I can’t do moderation. I’m not an extremist. I realize that there’s no way I could switch to raw frut and veggies, wholegrains and not much more. The thing is working out what I can handle and what I can’t. Some sugar that I eat I can control. For example, a stirfry with sweet chilli sauce isn’t going to make me want to go off and drink the whole bottle. Likewise a chutney sandwich. I won’t be getting out a spoon and eating the rest of the jar. And I know that most breads, cereals and pasta have sugar in them. I will try to choose the ones that don’t but I don’t think eating a piece of white bread is going to bounce me off the wagon.

Also I couldn’t handle giving up chocolate completely. So – I can eat the really dark stuff. The 85% proof. No one can overdose on that, not even me.

It’s frightening giving up sugar. I wonder how I will have “fun” any more. Sugar feels like the most inexpensive, convenient form of fun there is. I feel very apprehensive about not being able to turn to it. It’s all about breaking habits. I turn to it when I’m tired or stressed or miserable…or bored. Especially bored. Which is pretty often doing my job. I’m expecting my productivity to rocket.

There are other bad foods that I like to pig out on, that don’t involve sugar. Potato chips, creamy cheeses like brie and camembert. But I seem to be on top of that. Most of the time I successfully avoid them – I eat them at parties but I don’t often buy them. I think I will include potato chips in my sugar-free campaign though – because I don’t want them to become a substitute. And it would be silly to have cheese treats and dips at home. I really have to watch what I turn to to replace sugar in my life.

My focus is to get through one day at a time. And build in rewards.

My expectation is, that at least in the beginning, I will eat more food in general than I did before. It will be a struggle to change the habit. That’s OK. I’ve seen it before and I will move through it. Even if I never lose weight through this (and I think I probably will) I must realize that this is the right thing to do for my health.

The weird thing is with changing eating habits is that once you’ve made the decision you feel like you need to act. But choosing not to eat something, well, it’s sort of not acting. There’s nothing I can be actively doing right now. That’s often the problem. If I try not to spend money, I do nothing. I can’t actively do anything except journal, strategise, and research the efforts of others. I guess that’s something.

At the end of the day: I’m doing OK. I had a couple of cravings that I managed quite easily. I haven’t been curled in the fetal position shaking. Possibly I’ve been more irritable but that could just be the state the house has been in and the mountains of washing. Anyway, it’s one day at a time, and I’ve done one day. Tomorrow is a new one, and I will work again…

Anyway, like I said, that was my practise run. Stay tuned for my record breaking new attempt starting Monday June 19. As I said the goal is July 27 when we go to Melbourne for 4 days. After that 4 days I'll set another goal. Or maybe, I won't even need that 4 days, maybeI'll have just one day off the wagon and I'll set another goal...

Anyway, more on this tomorrow.

Hello

2006-06-17T02:00:00.000-07:00

My name is Denny and I live in Tasmania. I have a job, a family (husband and 2 small boys) and a mortgage. I've set up this journal to document my struggle to cut sugar out my diet, because I KNOW it isn't good for me. So if you're doing the same thing, let me know!